In Need of a Title
He greets me with a morning kiss,So eager am I to see him,
Off we go to an adventure,
We seek for so long
He smiles at me,
Smile at me with his eyes,
So deep is his smile,
I almost get teary looking at him
As we arrive,
The sun was beaming at us,
Alas, the weather has changed to dark skiesh,
But it doesn't change how I feel
On the bed we lie,
Watching the rain fall,
My head on his shoulders,
His arms around me, my hands on his chest
As the rain trickle down the roof,
The gentle breeze blowing in our faces,
Our eyes shutting off,
Bout to go dreamland somewhere far away together
As I awoke still lying on his shoulders,
I can hear his gentle snore,
His face so sweet,
Not realizing I am staring, while he's asleep
Never wanting this moment to end,
I do not wake him up
and continue to watch my dear sleeping
Looking so peaceful
He winks at me,
So cheeky he is which gives tugs my heart,
Don't think he realizes it,
Oh heart, pls don't stop for a moment, I can't take it
If only he knew how he affects me sometimes,
This I don't tell him,
And how I want to pinch him sometimes,
But I don't mean bad, this he knows, I think...
As we set off for our journey home,
My heart is heavy,
Not wanting this to ever end,
Our escape from reality is ending
I miss him right the moment before I go to bed,
I see him in my dreams,
I think of him first thing when I wake up,
My dear, I miss you every moment I am not with you
So if you will hear me out,
Make some space for me,
Space in your heart I have yet to earn,
I promise I won't break it...
I was inspired to write this, so please do give me your comments and constructive criticism. And please give me some suggestions for a title for my first poetic attempt.
11 comments:
Spikey, that poem was real sweet... like a scene from a romantic movie :) I'm no poet though... so I can't really give much feedback. no idea on a title either. Sorry ^_^
annabel - Thanks! Just trying to do something new. Do try to get more ppl to come in and read it :)
wow~~~~ the poem was a real charmer!! romantic too... and i know how u feel missing ur dear.. cos me missing mine too...
and i like watching my dear when asleep, hahaha...
as for the title?? hmmm...
Wow... poetic eh... looks like got another poetic kaki.. I do poetries sometimes under my poetic category
pikey - So how? Ok huh for first try? Give some suggestions for title!!! Does your dear know you watch her sleep? :)
Daniel - I went to check out your pblog's poetry section. hehehe.. very funny :) Thanks for dropping by
hahahaha... ya... he knows sometimes i watch him sleep and then he will suddenly wake up and scared me up, hahaha
the title? A Mesmerizing Sight...
eh.... can delete the 12.16PM comment entry? thanks.
Then you can remove this comment entry oso :P
Nice poem but why so long...People will only read half way la...
nice try! but i agree with "the owner" that this is just a lil bit too long...make it shorter will be sweet i guess...
noticed that all your entries are written in the afternoon or evening but this is written in the peak of the night... must be an emotional one eh?
the appropriat title could be..."Me and He".
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